Online Dating

If you didn't know, I met my wife on eHarmony. It's been weird to say that, but it's getting easier. Online dating is gaining popularity quickly and its acceptance among more "traditional" types is also growing. Though there are many cautions to say about it, but the benefits include (via Josh Harris):

• Online dating allows for interaction with a much larger group of singles.

• If used wisely, it can provide a context to evaluate a potential date before meeting face-to-face.

• In addition, many singles who invest the amount of time and energy into online dating are generally interested in a serious relationship.

• Finally, there are positive examples of couples who have met and got engaged/married through these services.

If used properly, I think online dating can be greatly benefited from. It is much like anything in the world, it can be used for good or for evil. I am absolutely not trying to defend it simply because I have used it (I hope), and I certainly do appreciate the valid concerns put forth by theologians and authors. I think we must also recognize that God’s providence is always at work, even through mediums such as the internet. Ruth “happened” to come and work in Boaz’s field. The point being that from Ruth’s perspective (or perhaps the author’s—Samuel?), it seemed like chance that she would happen to come across this great man's field, but in fact it was God’s invisible hand of providence working itself through circumstantial “happenstance.” Furthermore, if we keep reading the Bible, we find out that Jesus was a descendant of this couple, so certainly God's hand of providence was involved in bringing Ruth to Boaz's field! More than just "happenstance," wouldn't you say?

Much of the objection to online dating is based on the estimation that less than one percent of those that subscribe get married, out of millions of people (according to eHarmony). My question is, what percentage of the total online dating world is actually looking for marriage in the right way, or even just looking for marriage? Even though online dating has gained popularity in the mainstream, it's easy to forget its shady roots in the cyber-world of "casual encounters" and chat rooms. There are legitimate people searching for spouses, but I would submit that the majority is simply looking for a good time, or at best looking for just a girlfriend or someone to cure loneliness. It is not necessarily wrong to want to have a "good time" (assuming this does not mean sinful), nor is it wrong to have a "girlfriend" or to want to have someone because you are lonely (God said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone ). But if the goal of doing so is not to be married according to God's design and will, then serious questions should be asked as to whether or not one is in sin in his/her approach to relationships with the opposite sex and marriage in general. It can not be forgotten that our culture is not one that esteems marriage in a very high regard as Scripture does and as God does through his creation of the man and the woman. The world is still greatly fallen in its understanding and worldview. It is too easy to let the secular mindset influence how we view dating, courtship, marriage, and gender relations.