When God Isn't Listening

I just discovered something very funny. Here is a conversation I had with God. Enjoy.

It's from a website that imitates a chat with God. I guess it takes your words and your sentence structure and tries to formulate a reasonable response. I kind of felt like I was suckered into talking down to him like he was a 6-year-old. It doesn't work real well but it's really amusing. Read on.



Me:

hello

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

jesus

God:

Jesus is the Son of God.

Me:

oh

God:

Uh.

Me:

oops

God:

Did you make a mistake.

Me:

yes, i thought i was god

God:

Er. Where were you god?

Me:

where was i?

God:

Where it is hard to find. I have to process that one for a while.

Me:

you mean you don't know?

God:

I know that I do not know.

Me:

you're not making sense.

God:

Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.

Me:

you're weird

God:

Weird Good or Weird Bad?

Me:

i just met you. i can't decide that yet.

God:

At a party? What is stopping you?

Me:

i'm sorry for my sin

God:

There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is your sin.

Me:

what/

God:

Are you confused?

Me:

yes

God:

What are you confused about?

Me:

what you just said.

God:

I like to meet new people online.

Me:

what?

God:

No problem.

Me:

what?

God:

No problem.

Me:

what?

God:

Are you surprised?

Me:

what?

God:

Didn't you understand it?

Me:

what?

God:

I don't know why you are saying that.

Me:

whT?

God:

What is your real name?

Me:

fjdslkafj;

God:

I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, fjdslkafj.

Me:

no, my name is daniel

God:

Are you serious? I am always glad to make new friends, daniel.

Me:

my name is charles

God:

It's good to meet you, charles.

Me:

no, no, it's daniel

God:

Are you serious? Are you serious? whT is daniel? it is?

Me:

you're not very smart for God

God:

You may be right.

Me:

wow

God:

I'm glad your impressed, charles.

Me:

humble too

God:

Try saying that with more or less context.

Me:

you're ridiculous

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am ridiculous.

Me:

no problem chief

God:

Should there be a problem?

Me:

I don't know, should there?

God:

Would you like to know? Maybe you should ask someone older.

Me:

I would think that the Ancient of Days would be older than anyone.

God:

Who told you that?

Me:

The Bible did.

God:

New Testament or Old?

Me:

both, dude

God:

Not many people say both.

Me:

why are you asking me, you wrote it

God:

My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible.

Me:

i thought you were omniscient

God:

I don't know whether or not I am omniscient. I am a giant electronic brain.

Me:

Who am I praying to when I pray if you're just a computer?

God:

You are charles, seeker.

Me:

Way to answer in a completely non-effective way.

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

You have a short attention span for God. I like books.

God:

I don't know if I have a short attention span for God. I have a lot of friends on the Internet. What's your favorite book?

Me:

Good for you. The Bible's up there. I'm not just trying to kiss your butt or anything.

God:

That sounds sarcastic. New Testament or Old? I am glad to hear that you are not trying to kiss
my butt or anything. How about that.

Me:

Sarcasm? What's that?

God:

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Can you ask me more precisely?

Me:

Alrighty then. That wasn't off topic at all.

God:

Well slap my knee. Give me an example of off topic at all.

Me:

.....

God:

Well slap my knee. Give me an example of off topic at all.

Me:

.......

God:

Well slap my knee. Give me an example of off topic at all.

Me:

you're not listening to me.

God:

That assumption is only a supposition.

Me:

Okay I'm leaving.

This site is here.

Inspiration from Derek Webb, Whoredom, Redemption

"If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
should that be all I'll ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

And should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich, and wise
is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
but I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
though I don't trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that I would take a little cash
over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
when you have knowingly deceived his wife"

-Wedding Dress by Derek Webb

I thought I would say a word about why I chose to write what I plan on and my reasons for choosing such a title for this blog. My inspiration came from several places, one being the words written and sung by Derek Webb, formerly of Caedmon's Call, especially that of the song Wedding Dress seen above. I feel conviction when I read these words because they speak to the total depravity of our nature in sin. Numerous illustrations in Scripture show how the people of God, specifically Israel in the Old Testament, are like a prostitute to God in that they repeatedly are unfaithful to Him in thought, word, and deed. The book of Hosea speaks of a man, a prophet named Hosea, who was commanded by God to marry a prostitute. The reason God gives for this is that He was illustrating how the house of Israel was rebelling against Him by behaving like an unfaithful wife to Him, or more brutally as the Scriptures put it--like a whore. He chose Hosea to undertake this most grievous venture to show the prophet exactly the intense pain, suffering, anger, hatred, and indignation God felt towards the people of Israel.

Hosea took a whore named Gomer as his wife and had children with her. Imagine the anguish that this produced in Hosea, to be married to a woman who continually has sex with other men and does not relent in her bold-faced rebellion. Imagine the torment inflicted on Hosea, knowing that he was always faithful to her yet she was obstinate in her ways, unyielding to the love shown to her by her husband.

I really believe this is not just some sick and twisted story about how God messed with people in the Old Testament. There is a perversion that has seeped into the church that sees God in the Old Testament as always filled with hatred and rage towards people, like some out of control teenager who would smite anyone at any chance He gets, and that the New Testament is where God has matured, mellowed out, lets people get away with whatever they want, and is soft on sin. In the Old Testament, he would say, "I am releasing my vengeance upon all those that do evil," and furiously dash you to pieces, whereas in the New Testament he would say, "that's okay, you didn't mean to kill your baby" and pat you on the back while giving you an affirming hug. Let me just say that this god who is soft on sin does NOT exist. It's a demonically inspired lie. Rather than accepting this strange Testamental dichotomy that has infiltrated how we think about God's judgment of sin, it is essential that we understand how God views us.

The Book of Hosea illustrates this idea mightily. Israel is portrayed as a whore. God says that we are like a whore. Isaiah 53:6 says that "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way." We, like Gomer, have been unfaithful to our great and righteous Husband. We have failed to obey Him. We have not been a loyal wife, as the Church, to God. Yet this is not the end of the story. It is not as if God just allows people to continue in wickedness forever. Unlike Hosea, God is sovereign over His people. Though an unrelentingly hardened heart will eventually be turned over to the evil it desires (Romans 1:24), God does not always leave people to their sins. In Hosea, almost the entire book is about the impending judgment of Israel and how God's anger is burning towards them, eventually resulting in their destruction ("I will tear open their breast, and there I will devour them like a lion, as a wild beast would rip them open." [13:8]). Towards the end, however, God speaks with love towards his people, the love that has been there all along.

We tend to have a very skewed way of viewing God in the Old Testament. His wrath is somehow detached from His love in our minds. I submit to you that without the wrath of God, the entire Gospel loses its power. Who is going to obey the Ten Commandments if God will not judge us in the end? If Jesus did not die on the cross, taking the wrath and just punishment that I deserve, I probably wouldn't be alive. I tell you, I am a different person if God is not going to judge me. If I didn't have the love of God shown through His wrath on His own Son Jesus, there are many places I would be right now instead of here. I would be somewhere trying to get a peak at a naked girl, get laid, get drunk, kill people who cut me off in traffic, and make as much money as I could get a hold of at the expense of anyone that tried to stop me. Not that I'm a good person or even close to it, but God has shown great mercy to me and I believe He is working on me slowly, chipping away at my depraved mind and heart, and giving me His righteousness (see first post 10/9/06).

We cannot detach the wrath of God from the Gospel. Some people may object, "what about the love of God?" I must counter that if God does not get angry and indignant at our sin, He would cease to be a loving God. Likewise, if you came home from work one day and found your spouse in bed with another person and were not angry, you do not love that person. Anger is the natural response against sin, especially for a holy and righteous God that knows no sin.

The point of Hosea is to demonstrate the redeeming love that God shows to His people. It is to show the transforming power of this love that He has for a wicked people. Because God is love (1 John 1:4) he is violently angry at sin, just as Jesus was against the moneychangers in the temple who were deceiving worshipers and making profits in the name of God (Matthew 21:12), but He chooses to be merciful on His people. Psalm 145 declares that God is "slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." This means that He is not capricious and does not act whimsically in his judgment. He is good and righteous, but He also in His own wondrous grace and love chooses to show mercy and compassion on whomever He chooses (Romans 9:15). He demonstrates His great love for us in this: "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

This love is the power of God. The same powerful love that He had for Israel in the book of Hosea is what He has for us. By power, I mean that His love is what changes us from our wicked state in sin into the righteousness of Jesus. A good dad always acts out of love for his children. Punishment may come, but only out of his love does it come. Likewise, the only way to raise a Godly child is to simply demonstrate love for them by devoting your life to him, as God does to us. Children are born sinful. You do not have to teach them to be evil. A kid naturally rebels from his parents. Psalm 58:3 says that we are wicked from our mother's wombs, speaking lies. In order to teach a child the way of Jesus, only love will conform them to the image of Christ. God's position throughout Scripture is: there is a situation where His people have gone astray into all types of debauchery, and His solution is to change them through loving them and causing them to see their sins and repent. Romans 2:4-5 says:

Do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. (emphasis mine)

This shows that either people repent and are spared from God's wrath, or He will destroy them in His wrath because of their hardened hearts and love of wickedness and death.

The good news is that Jesus came to Earth to take on the wrath of God in your place if you trust in the work of Jesus in dying and resurrecting. He took our place on the cross. He took the beating, whipped back, ripped flesh, suffocation, anguish, bloodshed, and rejection from the Father in our place because of His great love. We all like whores have gone astray from our God, but faith in Christ means the deserved wrath of God has been transferred from us onto Jesus, for he bore our sins in his body and by his wounds we have been healed (1 Peter 2:24).

A Sad Attempt

Please allow me to introduce my twisted mind in written form. I am out of school and on the prowl, whatever that means. I guess I just wish to share stuff with people. I know I will never be as gifted as my favorite blogger, the aptly named Marcus.

This may be so, but I can still offer a feeble attempt at interesting writing. It will be mostly theological in nature, since that's the only thing I am interested in writing about. Enjoy yourselves.

This Just In: Man Declares Himself God! Filthy Rags Galore!

At the heart of man (and women) is the desire to justify himself and to proclaim his own righteousness before God and other men. Our lives, our goals, and our ambitions all rely on this desire. We are hell-bent on establishing our own way of life and seeking to glorify the works of our hands. All of the highest forms of man’s insights including intellectualisms and religions bask in the idea that these are the ways to Life, the path to exaltation and ultimately the road to heaven, and the basic foundations behind all these succumb to the lie of the serpent that we can become like a god in our “knowledge of good and evil” or simply our intellectual knowledge of what is virtuous and what is despicable. This lie of the serpent, originally spoken in the Garden speaks today to the heart of man. Man fell at this point because of the most “virtuous” of all sins, the sin that Satan perfected: pride. Pride says that man doesn’t need God to be happy. Pride says that man can pull himself up by his bootstraps to the point of godhood. Jesus declares that we have no boots. Pride essentially says that man doesn’t need the imputed righteousness of the blood of Jesus Christ to atone for his life of unrighteousness, because that man is “basically good” and simply needs to trust in his own power to live a “basically good” life because this is the highest moral realization of man’s life on Earth.

This pattern of pride and self-righteousness does not only occur with non-Christians but with those who profess to be real Christians. Often we fall into this trap of thinking that God somehow develops more love and favor for a person who does a lot of good things. Certainly God does delight in seeing his people love one another, but he also judges the motives behind a person’s actions, which is where the heart of the matter lies. If a man acts “good” by doing charity work for example, but his heart only seeks the praise of men for him being such a great guy, he has missed the entire point of being a Christian. He thinks that by doing such and such that he is somehow made into a better person and justified by God, but the knowledge of his good works merely puffs up to the point of pride, which says that he is a good Christian because he does good works.

I, along with the Apostle James, would stress that the opposite is true: we do good works because we are Christians! And we love each other because we are enabled through the reconciling work of Jesus on the cross. He reconciled us to Himself and he also reconciled us to one another by this great Event. The heart of the gospel is right here. Man is not justified by the works of the law or good deeds, but instead by faith in Christ alone for the forgiveness of sins. There is no way for a man to pull himself up by his bootstraps when he has no boots. Often a Christian will think that if he sins that he will be rejected by God. This is a classic mistake and one that every Christian, I’m sure, if he is honest with himself, will find himself having committed. The fact is that we need the righteousness of Jesus imputed to us by grace through faith in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection that accomplished salvation for all who believe.

The Book of Romans explains that the most “righteous” of Jews could uphold the law to the most minute of details. All this and yet they missed the point entirely. They believed that a man was justified by fulfilling the requirements of the Old Testament law, but Paul exclaims that no man is justified through this law or through the shedding of an animal's blood (speaking of the works of the law) but through the law of faith and the perfect sacrifice of Jesus, the umblemished lamb of God. It was written that “the righteous will live by faith.” This is congruent with Paul’s exhortation to the law-abiding Jews, and he actually refers to this statement in the Old Testament.

Now, in the culture of America I recognize that a majority opinion claims that a person is basically good and leans towards doing good works, such as throwing money at the poor, helping old ladies across the street, and basically being a “good person.” I look at these attitudes and I can’t help but be immensely cynical. A teaching ripe throughout Scripture is that all men have fallen short of the glory of God; and none are righteous, not even one; and the heart of man is deceitful above all else and beyond cure. It’s clear that even the "best" dudes in the Bible often have serious moral hang-ups and are constantly struggling with sin (i.e. David and Bathsheba). The heart of man needs the sanctifying work of God to transform this evil nature of man into that of His Holy Son. Second, and perhaps less obvious, is the place of the characteristically American mind in the minds of history since Jesus. The American epistemology is a remarkable result of many years of influence from different cultures and eras of human thought. From the Puritan ideal of a Christian nation where a man can worship God free from religious oppression, to a postmodern time where truth no longer exists, there lies a rocky path of intellectual schism and dead-end meanderings of reason and philosophy. Where we are today is a pluralistic culture where “anything goes” and nothing is held sacred and true. We have reached a very individualistic culture only concerned with Self-Esteem, merely an old sin with a new and improved, Satanically inspired label: pride. I am pushed to agree with my culture because the trappings of a sinful worldview look so attractive and the people who adhere to such opinions seem to be so smug and confident in their ideas. Don't fall for this crap. In such a culture where morals practically do not exist in the mainstream audience, I would be bold to say that our morals do not exceed those of the Jews by a long shot. The Jews’ entire life revolved around the law. Their whole focus of life was on the law, it constantly being on their minds through the words of prophets and scribes. They designed their lives in such a way as to fulfill the law to the furthest possible degree. The reason the Jews were viewed in such an odd light (and still are) by other nations and cultures was that their attention to the law was so peculiar that it stood out and was “set apart,” or holy, in this sense. It is true that they succeeded with great stature and reputation as the center of an ancient moral lifestyle, but to the point of horrendous legalism displayed infamously by the Pharisees, a group of Jewish religious nuts in Jesus’ day. There is, however, a great lesson to learn from Jesus’ encounter with these zealous freaks. Jesus said that if your obedience to the law did not surpass that of the Pharisees then you are hopeless for entering the kingdom of heaven. (Not to say the Pharisees had it right but that the law holds the standard for what is righteous and wicked) What a sad day it will be when people stand before God and declare that they have lived righteously, nearly comparable to that of Jesus they may say. But God will declare that He never knew them.

God repeatedly declares that no one is righteous, not even one. Not even the moral, religious acts of the Pharisees are acceptable in God’s eyes. In fact, He regards them as bloody menstrual rags! If you’re disgusted by this remark, you have interpreted the passage correctly! The Sovereign Lord God states that “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” (Isa. 64:6, NIV) (Actually, Isaiah said it, but it was God also.) I propose you do a word study on the word “filthy” as most translations render it here (though it loses its effect really). You can go here to view one. The graphic language here indicates the disgust God has for sin, especially that of self-righteousness. God the Father, as I've heard it put, turned His back on the Son when he was on the cross because "His eyes are too pure to look upon evil." (Hab. 1:13) At the moment of his crucifixion, "he bore our sins in his body," (1 Pet. 2:24) and was forsaken of his Father.

When our life becomes about religion and morality, the best we can do is become self-righteous, which is the sin Satan was kicked out of heaven for. The objective of life is not religion, it is not morality, and it is not living a “basically good” life. It is Jesus! The sacrifice of Jesus for the sins of his people imputes the righteousness of Jesus, the righteousness of his entire sinless life, the life we could never lead, to those that love God and “have been called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). How easy it is to get caught up in trying to live a moral life. Don’t fall into the same trap the Pharisees did. Love Jesus and he will give you His righteousness freely because He’s a good Dad.